Comments on: Where the Madness Happens

By: Cecily

Cecily — Sun, 24 May 2009 23:12:22 +0000

Thanks for the comment and support, D. If this is helpful to someone in some way, then it was worth writing.

By: Derrick

Derrick — Sun, 24 May 2009 13:23:33 +0000

Big ups for talking about a subject in a way that will allow people who haven't suffered from depression, see what it's like, if only for a moment. Feel no shame; proud of you for taking the steps you need to assist you on your journey.

By: cecily

cecily — Fri, 22 May 2009 21:09:04 +0000

It isn't exactly what I intended to write, and I may still write the other post we talked about. It is proving to be more difficult than I thought, because I don't know how to care for myself when I feel like this, so how can I advise others?

I'm glad you liked it, though.

By: tiffanybbrown

tiffanybbrown — Fri, 22 May 2009 18:54:28 +0000

"I'm not looking for you to solve the problem – I just want you to listen." <– i tell my mother this at least once a week.

By: cecily

cecily — Fri, 22 May 2009 17:36:01 +0000

You're welcome. Thank you for reading it and for being a source of great support and comfort for me while I've been going through this.

By: tiffanybbrown

tiffanybbrown — Fri, 22 May 2009 17:21:58 +0000

Thank you for this, C. It's so powerful.

By: cecily

cecily — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:19:18 +0000

I can care for other people and can extend kindness to them — and I've seen you do the same. What I can't seem to put into words is advice for others on how to care for someone who lives with depression, because I don't quite know what it is I need. Or rather, I know what I need, but I find it hard to make that heard when the rest of my brain is telling me to push everyone away.

By: cecily

cecily — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:17:20 +0000

That's an important lesson to learn Jason. I firmly believe that it's not anyone else's job to fix me (or to fix anyone else who's in the same boat) Partly because I don't think they can, but also because I know how frustrating it must be to be the one offering suggestions but not seeing any evidence that those suggestions are being followed. . But it's human nature when you see someone you love hurting to want to make things better.

What I've learned to do is when I do reach out to people, I try to preface what I want to say by saying "I'm not looking for you to solve the problem – I just want you to listen." When I've tried that both parties were happier in the long run.

By: misterjt

misterjt — Fri, 22 May 2009 15:30:05 +0000

I don't claim, at all, to understand depression and how it haunts you and other cherished souls in my life. What I have learned — and it's take a long time to learn this lesson — is that it's important to allow people to feel what they are feeling and, if I can, attempt to help them in the ways they want to be helped rather than the ways I may think they need to be helped.

This is the hard lesson for those of us on the other end of the emotional spectrum. I want to fix things. I'm a bit obsessive about finding solutions. It hurts to not offer that option. What I've learned is it often hurts the other person more to not be able to work through their own feelings in their own time.

By: michellej

michellej — Fri, 22 May 2009 14:30:39 +0000

You've done a hell of a good job caring for me of late.