Some people think that Latin is a dead language. I’ve found a book that lays that claim to rest once and for all.
Since leaving my job (a story that requires more nerve to tell than I have at the moment), I’ve been looking into different ways to keep busy. I’ve been mucking around with PHP and MySQL, learning Photoshop techniques, and reading YA Fiction until my eyes burn dry. I’ve also been rekindling my appreciation for Latin.
Latin, you ask? What, are you converting to Catholicism? Well, no, but I did take Latin in high school, primarily because it was the class for the cool “alternative” kids, and as I considered myself among their number, I enrolled. I was pleased to discover that my year of seventh grade French and two years of high school Spanish made learning Latin easy. There’s a structure and rhythm to Latin that I find soothing. There are rules that must be obeyed, but those rules are, more often than not, completely opposite of English grammar rules. The differences keep me alert and entertained, and my brain welcomes the increased flow of oxygen.
I’m using the *Teach Yourself Beginner’s Latin* book because of the “Living Latin” practice exercises. In some instances, these sections might be more appropriately titled “Lusty Latin.” In one section called “Di immortales” (Immortal Gods), the selections centered around the so-called “immoral” behavior of the gods. One passage is excerpted from Ovid’s *Metamorphoses* the story of how Vulcan, upon finding his wife Venus and Mars *in flagrante delicto*, sets a trap for the two lovers. I’ll spare you the Latin original, but the passage goes something like this:
>When his wife and her adulterer came together on the couch, by his skill and with the chains which he had so
>cleverly set up, they were both caught fast in each other’s arms. Immediately the Lemnian god opened the ivory doors
>and let in the other gods: there the two lay in their shaming bondage — and one of the gods, who were much tickled,
>wished he could be so ashamed.
If that isn’t enough, there’s also this passage from *The Aeneid*:
>Venus finished speaking, and slipping her snow-white arms this way and that, wraps him up in a cuddle. He hesitates.
>Then suddenly he felt that familiar rush and recognized the glow as it penetrated his innermost core flickering
>through his trembling bones.
I tell you what, this sure beats the hell out of all the stories we read in high school about the farmer, his wife, and their effing donkey.
