Things That I Have Deemed Self-Care Since My Breakup

  1. Rode my scooter around all night and burned through a quarter of a tank of gas.
  2. Had a friend drive me around Stanley Park in her air-conditioned car while I sobbed and puffed on a vape pen.
  3. Watched greasers work on extreme car mods on Netflix.
  4. Went to the Queer Film Festival Opening Gala with old and new friends and claimed my membership in Vancouver’s queer community.
  5. Cried. A LOT.
  6. Shared a moment with Vancouver drag performer Maiden China while she lip synced to “Running Up That Hill”, a song that, quite unexpectedly, mugged me during her performance.
  7. Found a new therapist who is trained in somatic therapy.
  8. Talked to an old OLD friend who has known me, loved me, and been there for me for the better part of 30 years (no, not her).
  9. Filled myself up with joy and beauty, wherever I could find it.
  10. Breathed.
  11. Reflected.
  12. Wrote.
  13. Prayed for my salvation and hers.
  14. Loved myself even when I didn’t actually feel loving or lovable.
  15. Forgave myself.
  16. Applauding myself for having hope, for trying again, for believing that change is possible if I want it.
  17. Made peace with myself, the world, and the positive changes in both.
Donuts are the oldest form of self-care

Temporary Secretary

After much deliberation, I’ve decided to hire myself out as a virtual assistant. Rates are negotiable. I’ll be available evenings 4pm-10pm Monday thru Friday, and 9-3 on Saturdays.
Some of the services I offer are:

Social Media Services

  • Social media account management
  • Social media account set-up
  • Scheduling affiliate posts to social media accounts
  • Email newsletter creation & maintenance

Website/Blog Services

  • WordPress configuration and maintenance (no plugin development)
  • Scheduling blog posts
  • Edit/proofread blog posts
  • Create blog content calendar in tool of your choice
  • User Experience consulting (heuristic/usability reviews)

General Administration Services

  • Appointment setting (personal or professional)
  • Calendar management
  • Job descriptions/postings
  • Process documentation
  • Training guides

If you, or someone you know might need such services, let’s book some time to talk.

Bullshit It Is Currently Too Hot For

white stand fan turned on in room
Photo by Delaney Van on Unsplash

  • arguing
  • sex
  • closed-toe shoes of ANY TYPE
  • thighs that rub together
  • any body part that rubs up against another body part (this means YOU, turkey neck)
  • managing a period
  • managing perimenopause
  • white fragility
  • white supremacy
  • white foolishness
  • anything that isn’t white shorts, basically
  • the plaza in my neighbourhood being turned into a dumping ground for trash and actual human shit/goose shit/shit of any variety that never gets cleaned off the sidewalk
  • living in a no smoking building so I can’t vape from the peace and relative shade of my balcony instead of having to deal with Vancouver’s more colourful (and dangerous) characters
  • fucking LIFE

Change is as Constant as the Tide

A Procreate sketch of Vancouver's English Bay
Trying my hand at urban sketching with Procreate on my iPad

This city reminds me that colonizers stole some of the most beautiful places in the world from the people of colour who originally laid claim to these places.

Being a black person in Vancouver brings me face-to-face with this legacy every day because this city shows me in no uncertain terms this that I am not supposed to be here, that I will never truly belong.

And yet, it is so beautiful. Being here by the water forces me, an earth sign, to have to deal with white supremacy, I’m forced to choose to continue suffering under this system (and lose myself in the process), or fighting for my right to peace and tranquility, no matter the cost.

The lapping waves remind me that nothing is as rigid as it seems, that even the gentlest stream will eventually carve a path through stone. When my efforts seem most futile, I must remember that something will eventually change my personal and professional landscapes for the better.

All things must yield.

Unshakable Joy

The thing about the world going to hell/rapidly coming to an end (Choose Your Adventure™️) is it makes you want to reflect on your present stage in life, where you came from, and where you hope to go in the time you have left. I’ve mentioned one of my “I Want”s in a previous post. But I’ve decided that I also want to feel joyous despite the rapidly deteriorating state of our society.

Considering that, I’ve spent the last couple of days in an…altered state, shall we say, on walkabout, looking for small surprises that would make me feel so happy that it would be contagious to anyone close by. Not the best metaphor to use during a global pandemic, but whatareyagonnado?

So here is a small sampling of some of the beautiful moments I encountered while walking around my neighborhood. I hope they’ll set off a spark in your soul that no one can extinguish.

Bougie neighbourhoods have their benefits.